Throughout my adult life, I’ve been very fortunate to have been invited and involved in many amazing weddings. From being a bridesmaid, to choreographing dances or simply attending wedding events, I’ve found ways to support each bride while making sure I look good doing it 😉. My interview below with Kyra & Vir talks all about this and more.
1. Tell us a little about yourself?
I’m a born and raised Chicagoan who has lived NYC since 2011, and I love it. I’m a wife, dancer, start-up lover and a professional day dreamer. I strongly believe in the journey vs. a specific goal.
A friend once observed that I dress like I dance. I dance for an Indian contemporary dance company that takes classical and folk styles of Indian dance and adds a contemporary flair. In the same way, I love experimenting with new trends and pieces that change up a classic silhouette. This gives me the ability to highlight how each piece is unique while also being able to reincorporate them in fresh ways each time I wear them.
Since college, both before and after my wedding, I have been fortunate to have been invited to and involved in so many weddings that it has become somewhat of a running joke between friends. I attended on average about 4-8 a year over the past 10 years, with some years having 15 or 19 weddings. That being said, I truly enjoyed every wedding that I’ve had a privilege of being a part of and have learned how to properly plan my wedding outfits to allow for as much rewear as possible while still keeping it fresh.
2. How is the bridesmaid dress decided? Does the bride decide or the bridesmaid?
It really depends on the person. The easiest situations have been where the bridesmaids all wear the same thing as designated by the bride. However, in some cases, it’s difficult to choose a cut that is flattering on everyone (unless it’s a sari). I think as weddings have evolved, brides are becoming more open to variations of the bridesmaid’s outfit as long as they’re stylistically similar and within the given palette. The variations would be based on the bride’s vision for their bridesmaids as they may designate certain colors from the palette for each girl, or the bridesmaid would be allowed select their own cut of the blouse while the sari or skirt is all the same, etc. Ultimately, the bride will always have the final say, and you just have to make it work.
3. What has been your most memorable moment as a bridesmaid?
I’ve been so fortunate to have been included in so many different types of weddings that it’s really difficult to just pick one. Weirdly, the most memorable ones are the ones where you are trying to hide some sort of drama from the bride and groom, but you do what you need to do and ensure that everyone has a great time no matter what.
4. What makes the perfect bridesmaid outfit?
A smile! It’s so simple, but the reality is that whatever you end up wearing is meant to bring together the aesthetic of the wedding and not because of what looks good on you. So even if what you’re asked to wear is not you, make sure you’re OK with your make-up and just smile through it. After all, you are really there to support the happy couple.
5. What does a bridesmaid’s checklist typically look like?
The typical checklist includes – 1) at least one bachelorette, 2) at least one bridal shower, 3) making sure all bridesmaids have their outfits and that they’ve been tailored appropriately, and 4) ensuring that hair and make-up has been accounted for based on whatever the bride has requested (timing of this is key because it always takes longer than you think). In most cases, individual bridesmaids will be designated to confirm that each of these tasks are complete, including requests for dances, speeches, other performances, etc.
Regardless of what you’re asked to do, your main job as a bridesmaid is to be there for the bride and provide the support that she needs. This also means to avoid drama between you and other bridesmaids, and in some cases, with the bride, depending on stress levels at a given point of time. Remember that whatever you’re doing is for her big weekend, and the best you can do is to provide her with positive strength.
6. What is the best and most difficult part of being a bridesmaid?
Making sure you keep a level head. Planning a wedding can be very stressful for people and it is very easy to lose your temper and patience with the bride and/or others involved. It’s important to remember that this is just a phase and when it’s all done, life will return to normal. You are a bridesmaid for a reason. At a surface level, it could be that you have known the bride since childhood or that you’ve gotten extremely close to her over a short period of time, but regardless, you were chosen because she trusts you and wants you there.